Assisting the Person without Enabling

A direct link to the CEU course is a https 3A 2F 2Fwww allceus com 2Fmember 2Fcart 2Findex 2Fproduct 2Fid 2F366 2Fc 2F a People in recovery need support It is vital to assist the person in recovery without enabling them This video explores the difference between assisting the person and enabling to enhance both people's mental health and happiness Many addiction treatment programs will have a family education component to help you learn strategies to support your loved one in their addiction recovery process AllCEUs provides counseloreducation and CEUs for LPCs LMHCs LMFTs and LCSWs as well as addiction counselor precertification training and continuing education AllCEUs courses are accepted in most states because we are approved as an education provider for NAADAC the States of Florida and Texas Boards of Social Work and Mental Health Professional Counseling the California Consortium for Addiction Professionals and Professions This was recorded as part of a live webinar What is Enabling Enabling behavior Protects the person from the natural consequences of his behavior Keeps secrets about the person s behavior from others in order to keep peace Makes excuses for the person s behavior with teachers friends legal authorities employers and other family members Bails the person out of trouble pays debts fixes tickets hires lawyers and provides jobs Blames others for the person's behaviors friends teachers employers family and self Sees the problem as the result of something else shyness adolescence loneliness broken home ADHD or another illness Avoids the person in order to keep peace out of sight out of mind Gives help that is undeserved unearned or unappreciated What is Enabling Enabling behavior Attempts to control the other person by planning activities choosing friends and getting them jobs and doctor appointments Makes threats that have no follow-through or consistency Care takes the person by doing what she he is expected to do for herself himself Ignoring the person s negative or potentially dangerous behavior Difficulty expressing emotions especially if there are negative repercussions for doing so Prioritizing the needs of the person with the addiction before their own Acting out of fear Since addiction can cause frightening events the enabler will do whatever it takes to avoid such situations Resenting the person with the addiction Consequences of Enabling Enablers detest the behaviors of the enabled but fear the consequences of those behaviors even more They are locked into a lose-lose position in the family Setting boundaries feels like a punishment or abandonment of the person they love Enablers may struggle with the guilt they would feel if the person they re enabling were hurt by the real consequences of their actions Enablers are also protecting themselves and or children from those consequences Enabling means that someone else will always fix solve or make the consequences go away Consequences of Enabling Enabled persons will come to expect that their behaviors have no consequences or negative outcomes Enablers may become emotional hostages as the person learns to manipulate them in order to ensure that the help and support keep coming The enabler is desperate to prevent one enormous crisis but winds up experiencing a constant state of stress The enabled person and the enabler become stuck in a role in which they feel incompetent incapable disempowered and ineffectual They may gradually accept a self-concept that includes these negative traits destroying self-esteem and leading to co-dependency What to Do Healthy help involves providing information encouragement and coaching to your loved one Give the person contact information for doctors counselors lawyers or rehabilitation programs without feeling the need to force him or her to accept this help Discuss with the person what the possible consequences of actions might be without feeling as if you must make sure they make the choice you want them to make Foster hope for you and the person By refusing to tolerate or enable the addiction related behavior but being willing to fully support their recovery you can foster hope that can grow and catch on Practical Strategies Take care of yourself Sleep Nutrition Exercise Emotions Social relationships and activities Awareness of what is truly important to you When you re together remember not to helicopter Don t obsess or worry about him or her cheap ce

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